有位仁兄在你落選的一點都不冤枉的文章中有些感觸，給了個連結給我。
http://ck101.com/thread-2753581-1-1.html
因為文字量龐大，所以我分成兩篇
Let's be fair here. I have a gorgeous, adorable Taiwanese girlfriend that I am willing to spend the rest of my life with. Not because she is Hello Kitty, submissive, shallow, brain dead and a good fuck. Because she calls herself a freak (a surprisingly foxy one) , standing out from that essentially numbed crowd that I call most of Taiwan (excluding the "hen qi guay" lot), in ways that make most other girls look like total idiots.
就這方面而言，我想講幾句實在話：我有一個台灣女朋友，看起來漂亮又大氣。我很願意跟她共度下半輩子。我之所以如此，不是因為她對丈夫言聽計從，不是因為她腦袋死板，不是因為她只是個空花瓶(譯註：原文為Hello Kitty，猜測有「空花瓶」之意)，而是她有別於大部份的台灣女性（撇開那些「很奇怪」的人），敏感又大膽（我的美艷狐狸精！），不像那些女生一樣低能。
My hat goes to her even more knowing that she only lived 3 months in the US, while being naturally open minded and full of dynamic debates about all kinds of issues. Yes, she has all those traits that many guyswould want.
我的女友只在美國住在三個月，然而心胸寬廣，毫不做作，能與人辯論眾多話題，這使我更喜愛她了！沒錯，許多人所冀望的優點，她全都有了！
There are indeed some very interesting and charming ladies out here, but to the best of my knowledge, they are depressingly rare. Why? Because aside from being good at shallow chat followed by a deep fuck, one, two, here, there and everywhere, most girls here just about do a good job of sucking in all manner possible. Sex aside, let's not even get into how much worse it gets for 95% of TW born and raised guys when it comes to friendship with foreigners.
台灣還是有漂亮又引人注目的女士，然而，就我所知，他們非常的稀少，稀少到讓人沮喪。為什麼呢？這裡大部分的女孩子，只會跟你聊一些五四三的，然後再跟你來幾次深度的體液交換（在哪裡搞都行！），而她們為一擅長的事情，就是用各種可能的方式吹喇叭。不談性事了，我更覺得有95%的台灣人不善於跟外國人來往。
Yes the long eyelashed and legs empty egg-shells are gold diggers, oozing superficial arrogance that would turn a sensible man like myself into a sexual vice animal against it.
台灣女生睫毛長、腿長、腦袋空（譯註：我不懂empty egg-shells何意，我也懶得查，我隨便翻，你們隨便看。）、貪財、膚淺又驕矜自恃。我本明理，一遇到這群女生，卻成了任由性慾擺佈的野獸。
Even many of those who can speak decent English will rarely go beyond conversations about shopping, food, travel (if they dare to pretend knowing anything worthwhile about the real world beyond American and Japanese shopping malls) and maybe, just maybe, fun sex.
台灣女生有不少人會說英文；然而，她們聊天的主題總是圍繞在「購物」、「食物」、「旅遊」，很少有例外。（就算她們裝得「知性美」，想把話題扯到更現實的東西，除了美國商場和日本血拼商店外， 他們也想不出什麼，哦，或許在聊性事方面會有趣一點啦。）
Take things further into the arts, music, DECENT movies beyond Hollywood,politics, science and philosophy, I would say that 90% of people in Taiwan are "educated" to work, not to please the depths of themselves and others in particularly subtle ways.
至於藝術、音樂、好萊塢之外的電影、政治、科學、哲學，那就算了吧。我只能說，90%的台灣人之所以受教育，都只是為了工作，而非挖掘自己和他人在某些細微方面所產生的深度差異。
The worst thing about all this is that the truly fascinating side of Chinese culture is either a political conundrum for not knowing which side to choose, or is slowly sinking face first into oblivion. There is room for tremendous melting pot in Taiwan, but not much is being done about it.
最糟糕還不只是這樣：中國文化最令人著迷的一面，就是其政治思想；中國政治家不斷問自己：「政治上，到底要怎麼做才是對的？」（譯註：中庸！？）要不然乾脆隱姓埋名（譯註：隱士！？），讓眾人遺忘。這種政治思想可以造就出一個超級族群大融爐，然而台灣到目前為止卻還沒為此做出半點東西。
This is not a blind assault at intercultural differences, but a good stab at old social etiquettes that were ditched in the 60 and 70's in the West.
我之所以這麼說，絕對不是無的放矢，也沒有無視於文化差異，而是想改變舊社會的陳腐思想，而這些思想則在60年代和70年代遭西方人遺棄。
The family, school, work ethics to my opinion kills people's potential.Taiwan has grown economically, but it will reach full maturity only aftera hard look at itself in relation to the rest of the world, while learning to accept and integrate true differences, like other Asian places such as Singapore have learned to do, to make for a much nicer place to live and fit in with open minded people.
就我來看，台灣的家庭、工作倫理、學校系統扼殺個人潛力。台灣近幾年來經濟大幅成長；然而，想要成為一個完全成熟的社會，台灣就得正視他與世界的關係，並學習接受及整合兩造之間的差異。新加坡曾經所做的改革的，台灣也可以傚法，這麼一來，台灣會變得更好，人民心胸也會變得寬大。
In the meantime, it comes across as easy for Taiwanese people to be pleasant and smiling on the surface, but I do believe that their most visceral personal and social identity dangerously lacks confidence and awareness with others at best, or is totally uninterested and racist deep within, ever so silently.
台灣人表面很和善又樂觀；然而，我不覺得他們真的是這樣，他們缺乏足夠自信和觀察力，不能真實表達個人情緒和認同感；換個講法，就是他們其實很冷漠，骨子裡又帶有種族偏見，只是他們從來沒講出來罷了。
As an Adult Business Teacher, i listen to a lot of answers to topic questions in my class. when the topic gets around to love and relationships you always hear TW Girls saying the same exact shit.
我在一家成人英語補習班教授商用英文，跟學生聊過很多事情，也聽到不少回應。當我和學生聊到愛情和兩性關係之類的主題，台灣女孩子的回答都一樣，又臭又糟糕。
" i want a guy who is tall, understands me, is responsible, etc"
像是：「最好又高，了解我，又負責任，我最喜歡這樣的男孩子了。」之類的。
The problem with this is they never really define what responsible is.From my experience, what they mean by responsible is "safe". They want some castrated man with spiked hair who never takes chances, never moves in a direction that might make them feel unsafe, never walks the path less chosen. They want a guy who is just bent to their wishes for "their dreams" ie, the house, the car, the baby, the whole nine yards.
她們所謂的責任感，到底是什麼？這就是問題所在。就我長期觀察，她們所謂的「責任感」，其實就是「安全感」。她們想要一個男人，這個男人可以任由她們擺佈（譯註：任由擺佈，castrated被閹割的，衍生為"毫無男子氣概"）；這男人從不會令他們感到不安；這男人最好盲從大眾，在人生旅程內，不會走那些崎嶇小徑。她們想要一個男人，這個男人最好能依照她們的意願行事，最好能將她們的意願當作自己的夢想，最好替她們買個房子，買輛車子，養個娃兒，買一堆東西！
Nothing is wrong with those things, except that they have become the "Price For Admission" so to speak, rather than the result of two people's love and efforts for one another. They constantly take shortcuts.
其實這也沒什麼。然而，她們總把這些事情當作是「愛的門票」，而非「兩人互信互愛的結果，彼此付出」的結果。她們喜歡抄小路，而非走康莊大道。
These Women always talk about how they want someone who understands them. By this, i take it to mean they want an extension of their spoiling family or old boyfriends (Plan B... but still wait around) who will put up with their temper tantrums, immaturity, and stupidity.These women are basically in the market for either daddy or their older brother, someone who is used to their bullshit.
台灣女人總希望某人可以了解自己；換句話說，她們就是想要有一個人，能像自己的家人和男朋友一樣，忍受自己的壞脾氣、不成熟、還有愚蠢。這些女人基本上沒什麼市場，除了自己老爹和哥哥之外，沒人受得了她們的鳥脾氣。
Expecting someone to understand you is the height of immaturity.We should seek more to understand others than to be understood.The world owes us nothing, but we live in it, and should learn to adapt to it, not the other way around.
想要某人了解自己，這本來就是「不成熟的極致表現」。我們應該試著了解別人，而非怨恨別人不了解自己（譯註：子曰：「不患人之不己知；患不知人也。」）。這世界沒欠我們什麼，而我們卻寄身於此，我們應該學習「與世界和諧相處」，而非「教世界與我們和諧相處」。
i find TW women to be utterly selfish, insecure, and self centered.As I have seen with many couples and unfortunate friends,when they age it's even more nonstop bitching and moaning. Thefocus just becomes on more money, more eating, more competition to show off to family and friends. You can forget about an exciting sex life. Lately i look at them with a mild disgust, despite some of their physical beauty.
台灣女人特別自私，自我中心，又很沒安全感。我看過很多夫妻檔和不幸的朋友，當他們老了，還得忍受自己的伴侶不停犯賤和抱怨。她們就是想要更多的錢，吃更多的東西，向自己的家庭和朋友炫耀。你別想說有刺激快樂的性生活，我一向覺得台灣女人有點噁心，雖然她們肉體還是有迷人之處。
No pussy is worth being constantly drained by these emotional vampires. Funny, with the many new girls I meet here, I aways say to myself"this one is different". LOL! Nope, same shit with a different package.Same movie played over and over.
台灣女人個性善變，像個吸血鬼，她們的鮑不值得追求。我也曾經遇過幾個女孩，試圖說服自己：「這些女孩跟其他女人不一樣。」這很奇妙。然而，英雄聯盟啊！她們換湯不換藥，與其他女人一樣爛。相同的悲劇一再發生。
Oh Well, at least have a little fun, play their game, complement them on how brilliant it is to wear glasses without lenses, expect to pay for lots of dinners out. And most important....Yes, indeed,know when to say next. Their stock will drop in value quick and is a short sale. HK Girls are a way better catch.
好吧，玩她們的遊戲，看她們戴上「沒有鏡片的眼鏡」，稱讚她們有多好看，請她們吃晚餐，這些事的確還有點趣味。最重要的就是：「該換下一個，就換下一個了。」她們的價值就像股票賣空一樣，下跌得很快。香港的女孩子好多了呢！
這是一個美國華僑的心得：
I'm ABC and came back to Taiwan (I've had my share of girlfriends in USA). In 5 years staying here (and dating several TWN girls from 25-36yos, here is my take: Taiwanese women are narcissists, especially if she is even slightly attractive. Most of them live off their parents. If they are well-off, forget about scoring with them unless you are more well-off than them, their parents will find every reason in the world NOT to be with you.
我是一個回到台灣居住的美國華僑（譯註：America-born Chinese），在美國曾與幾個女孩子交往過。在台灣待了五年，跟許多台灣女孩子約會過（她們介於25歲到36歲之間）。我的想法是這樣的：台灣女人是自戀狂（譯註：Narcissist，取自於希臘羅馬神話水仙花的故事。），尤其是那些稍為有姿色的，更是不可一世。這些女孩子（作者曾約會過的），衣食皆仰賴父母。你如果沒有比她們有錢，千萬別評論這種生活型態，還有，正因為她們比你有錢，她們的父母特別挑剔，寧可找上千百個理由，也不願和你交往。
$$$$ is king, you can be fat, butt-ugly but if you are rich or appear rich, they will find every reason in the world to like you. And if you are not, you can become 'friends' with them, you simply become her platonic biitch, she only calls when she needs you and will never ever admit she is just using you for material things but will always give you you subtle hints of the Coach, LV, or expensive electronic gadget that she really really wants for her B-day.
錢就是無冕之王。只要有了錢，台灣的女孩子和她們父母就會特別哈你，就算你又肥又醜，她們還是找得出理由貼著你；要是你沒錢，沒關係，你還可以與她們當無「性」的「朋友」，然而，她們在有麻煩事時，才會找你；換言之，你成了卑賤的奴隸，得為她們做牛做馬。她們就是只貪圖現實利益才與你來往，但卻從來不肯承認。她們一有機會就會暗示你，要你送她們LV或Coach之類的名牌包包，或是要你在她們生日的時候送一些超貴電子產品。
Worse, forgetting to bring her purse when inviting her & her friends to meet you. And if she brings it, puts the onus on you to pay for it by sitting there silently, not moving, as if waiting for the 'traditional-male' to pick up the tab.
還有更糟的咧！也許你會邀請這些女孩子（還有她們的朋友），請她們參加一場聚會，但她們總是不會帶自己皮包出來；如果她們有帶包包，她們也不會主動付款；她們會靜坐在那兒，一動也不動，好像在等一位古紳士付款；換言之，她們把「付款」的責任交給男生了。
And if she is poor, she is even more materialistic. I remember our company hired a TWN girl (27) never held a steady job, complain to us how little she makes and how her mom has no job and how she has to support her mom... then I found out her 1st paycheck, she went out and bought a IPhone4.. Saying how it was always her dream. All I can say was "wow" thinking how full of shhit she was.
有錢的女孩還好，沒錢女孩更是「崇拜物質」到某種可怕的境界。我曾經在某家公司服務，這家公司請了一個女生（27歲）。這女生從未有過穩定的工作，總是向我們（公司人員）抱怨自己的薪水好少，抱怨她的老媽沒有工作，抱怨自己必須供她老媽吃住；然而，她第一次領薪水的時候，我看到她把錢拿去買一台「愛瘋4」。
她說：「擁有一台「愛瘋4」是我的夢想。」她真是有夠爛的啦，我大開眼界，只有這樣才能形容她了！
And I'm talking about girls that aren't even that attractive. Maybe a 7/8 out of 10. Yes I'm being shallow by putting them on a scale like that, but if I'm one feet deep, these girls' can be measured in micrometers.
接下來呢，我來談談那些不怎麼吸引人的女生吧。如果滿分有十分，台灣女生在大概有七分（或八分）。對啦，這種評鑑標準實在膚淺。但我得講：「如果我的深度只有30公分，台灣女孩子的深度就只能用微米來計算了。」
The younger ones that are even semi-attractive, are even more materialistic and pretentious. Most pretend they are not materialistic. And the few that are not after $$$, are after Beiber looks no matter how gay-looking or
irresponsible these guys are.
來講講那些比較年輕的台灣女孩子吧！她們的確有點吸引力，但又更「虛榮做作」(譯註：Pretentious，做作。)。她們嘴巴不承認，身體倒是挺誠實的。她們不是拜金，就是「拜帥哥」，就算那些哥們的長相鳥得像是「賈斯汀‧比伯」，看起來不負責任又很娘，她們就哈這種的！
Most don't have a job and those that do, spend as much money on their looks as the girls. There are no Rambos, athletic real man here (ok maybe 5% of population, sorry to these real guys).
這些娘炮沒有工作，又喜歡像娘們打扮自己，花掉大把銀子。我在這兒看不到像藍寶的人，強又imba（好啦，搞不好有5%的人口還滿強壯的，在此向這些人道歉。）
The guys these girls hang out with are perfect mirror of themselves,devoid of any personality and has the sophistication of a Lego block. Most of the skinny, wannabes gay looking guys (they actually think they are model-quality!!) hang around disco clubs, malls like spoiled rich American teenagers and spend all their money on the latest fashion craze.
這些女孩子所喜歡的男生，就是自己的完美寫照：「完全沒有個性，每個人都像樂高積木一樣制式。」這些愛美的娘炮（他們還以為自己是個天生的模特兒！），流連於夜店，像個有錢頹廢美國青年，虛擲萬金，就只是為了打扮自己。
The guys are so skinny and feeble (I'm sure they can double their size if they went to gym and worked out) that if a typhoon come suddenly, they all be blow to the ocean. The only thing that makes their wheel turn are MSN, SKYPE, Facebook, self-portraits of themselves plastered all over each other's home pages.
娘炮看起來又瘦又沒什麼力氣（他們要是肯健身，身體會是目前身體的兩倍大！），颱風一來，就可以把他們吹到海裡去。他們唯一有動力的時候，就是開MSN聊天、開Skype哈拉、看臉書、搞自拍照、或是把自拍照貼在另一個娘炮的網頁上。
God, they make Bieber look macho. No, I'm not the jealous type,I'm just telling it as it is. I've also been to China/Vietnam/Thailand and there is a world of difference in the girls' attitudes when I meet them.
媽呀，連「賈斯汀‧比伯」都比他們MAN！我絕對不是嫉妒她們，真的。。接下來呢，再來談談我在國外遇到的女生吧。我曾經到中國、越南、和泰國遊玩，那裡的女人就有於台灣女生，差異之大之多，令人咋舌。
I remember meeting girls that are 9 on a scale of 10, with no attitudes,no BS, no mark-ups that will put the TWN girls to shame.
使用和寫作邏輯來看，不太像是"以英語為第二語言的中文母語人士"寫的。像是：「最好又高，了解我，又負責任，我最喜歡這樣的男孩子了。」之類的。
True enough. Taiwanese women are the most selfish creatures I ever encounted. I used to live in Malaysia, Indonesia and Singapore and in all these countries. I met gorgeous and sincere ladies with well manners and
good heart. Since I took this job in Taiwan my sexual, emotional and dating life is totally fucked up...
確實，我遇過的女人中，台灣女生是最自私的生物。我曾經在住過馬來西亞、印度尼西亞、新加坡，還有一些國家。我遇過一些漂亮女士，大氣、待人真誠、有禮貌、心地又好。但自從我在台灣找了一份工作，我的性生活和情緒整個變得很糟。
And yes, never, ever EVER marry taiwanese bitch unless she makes you rich... You have to target women with money. Either self-employed or well paid professional with a thick saving accounts. BUT BE AWARE; Even if you
hold Phd from Gigolo University it will be pretty tough to squeeze any money out of her. Yet if you are that good or that lucky to put such spell on her then try your best to squeeze her dry. Once you take her money then you are the boss. You can enslave her and no matter what you do or how you treat her she will be submissive little bich that licks your toes hoping for the rest of her pathetic life that one day when you are off guard or off of your mind she might somehow get her ''investment'' back.
沒錯，千萬不要跟任何一個台灣女生結婚，除非她能讓你變得有錢。你得找有錢的女孩子，最好是自營工作者(Self-employed)或是有一定存款的專業人士。還有，一定要記住：「如果你是某個大學的博士，你很難從女人身上拿到錢。」如果你運氣夠好，一定要把她榨得乾乾淨淨。你只要拿了錢，就可以隨心所欲命令她。你可以讓她臣服於妳，就算你要她舔腳指頭度過餘生也沒問題，她就是冀望：「當你離開她的時候，你能把錢還給她。」
Piece of life saving advice;
救命守則：
If you are that good or that lucky, take her money, make her empty her accounts or sell the house or put her in debt if need. Don't feel any remorse and DO NOT HESITATE just take it all if you can. During the entire process make sure your passport is in the safe place.
如果你真夠幸運，能拿到錢，記得要榨光她的存款，賣掉她的房子，有需要的話，就讓她負債累累。別覺得這樣不好，也別猶豫不決，拿光就對了！在這過程中，確保你的護照安全。
Enjoy island for a while and fuck around. (especially those teenage little bitches, gold diggers. You have to tear them apart and destroy their little cunts the way that they won't be good for any cock anymore. You also have to fuck them in the ass until they have to wear dipers for the rest of their hello kitty miserable animal lives).
在這島上好好享受，到處開「苞」吧！(台灣的青少女特別的賤，特別愛錢。你必須玩到她們的賤鮑鬆掉，讓她們再也不能做那檔事情。你也可以玩她們的後庭花，玩到她們必須要包著紙尿褲，好能度過她們悲慘的人生。)
After you satisfy your rage and acomplish your revenge transfer all money to your country or switch it to good traveler's cheques and get the air ticet. Tell your squeezed bitch your father just passed away so you have to go without any delay. Or if you want to play with her a bit more just talk her into threesome and expose her to the brutal and painful double penetration together with some ruthless dude. You can even try asking her for more money or turn her into hooker. You can be her pimp for a while and see how it goes. But once you see black and thick question mark above her dumb empty head just get ready and get a hella out of here!!!
等到你滿意了，再把錢匯到你的國家，或轉成旅行支票，買張機票回家。跟你的賤女人說：「我老爸剛過世，我得馬上回去！」如果你還玩不過，那就帶她去跟某個殘暴的傢伙玩3P吧，最好讓她的後庭花和鮑魚都疼到爆掉。你甚至可以試著跟她要多一點的錢，讓她去做妓女，好讓她為你多賺一點。你可以當她的皮條客，看看情況如何。當你搞得他暈頭轉向的時候，你就趕快離開台灣吧！
一個我一點也不意外的黑色幽默(其二).....附帶我個人的黑色幽默訴求
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